In my recent post, I wrote a piece which underscored the untapped opportunities that exist in the university or any tertiary institution that students are not maximizing through proper networking and collaboration.
Many people who have graduated echoes the solace of my assertion and some of them be cried their inability to have gotten it right while in school.
So many students have also pinned the message to heart and some oblivious of what best models and strategies one can adopt to grow their network while in school.
In this piece, I’d write on that to the extent with which my memory can serve me and I’d also be waiting to get contributions from anyone who feel the need to drop some thoughts in order to benefit the readers.
Now, let’s do this!
The Untapped Goldmine of Connections You’re Ignoring – Second Series
Let me start by saying that I’d be sharing some of the strategies that I have tested and found to be true based on my experience and the experience of that of others. Anything I share here isn’t absolute, and cases may differ, depending on their various peculiarities. And yes, there are no hard or fast rules to how you can network in a student community, just that there are a few principles that can help you.
Now, take your pen/notepad and begin to pick the ones that resonate with you.
I have found that as social beings that we are, we naturally crave and long for friendship, companionship and inclusion in the areas that we consider important in our lives.
By this token, it means that an average student also wishes to associate, interact, be seen, be heard, be conquered even though many claim otherwise. But deep down, that’s what it is.
Let me start by stating some of the reasons why some students don’t network while on campus and always prefer to be alone at all times except for a few times.
Inferiority/superiority complex
Inferiority Complex
You see, a lot of adults walk around in life with a deep sense of inferiority complex.
For context, inferiority complex is a psychological condition characterized by a sense of inadequacy and a persistent belief that one is less capable or worthy than others.
A lot of people grew up with the belief that they are not good enough, this could be through cracks of parenting/upbringing or unhealthy environment which formulated their formative years, some were brutally bullied in high school and they are still having PTSD on that accounts.
Read Also: University: The Untapped Goldmine of Connections You’re Ignoring – First Series
Some of you think you have healed but in the real sense, you have not, you probably may need to get proper professional help so you can completely heal.
Still on the inferiority complex, majority of those who suffer from it now have a consolation. Something that was designed ordinarily for the children and adults of the 1st worlds and not for someone like you who live in a 3rd world countries, who is automatically underprivileged just by nationality.
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That consolation is called “introverts and extroverts” my dear, these are just labels. They are not true identities.
Don’t Ignore: Scholarship Opportunities for you
Life will require a good dosage of introversion and extraversion from you if you want to will at life. Giving yourself the label of “introvert” and playing according to its card may not allow you to reach your true full potential.
This is where you need to first work on.
Develop a healthy sense of self and a good understand of personal esteem.
The thing is, inferiority complex is more about perception than reality. You’re not as bad as you think you are. And yes, in life, you will always meet people who are bigger, better, grander, more affluent, more charismatic, more intelligent, smarter, prettier than you from margin to margin. So? Why not let your own personality shine through too?
Additionally, if you ever need to be equal or bigger than the other person in order to bloom and flourish in your skin, you run the risk of living a miserable life so work on your mind and uproot the unchecked desire to be equal or superior to any other person.
You see, apart from school, when you join the economy either through employment or entrepreneurship or business, you will meet super amazing folks who are smarter than you by miles, if you don’t work on your mind now to develop a health sense of self esteem, you will battle with imposter syndrome for too long in the market.
Superiority Complex
Just the direct opposite, if you ever want to be in a room where you’re considered as the biggest and smartest, then you’re desiring the wrong room.
I know a lot of students who walk around like they have got the world under their feet. And if you do a close examination of them, you’d find out they usually less than whatever hype the put up of themselves.
A student who suffers from superiority complex will never be able to learn when and where it matters the most.
Don’t Ignore: Scholarship Opportunities for you
They won’t mingle with the ones who can teach them real life lessons, they prefer to be around those who massage their ego only.
You see, school isn’t a place to learn formulas and memorize concepts alone, it’s a place where a total being is made.
Read Also: University: The Untapped Goldmine of Connections You’re Ignoring – First Series
Another major reason why some students don’t network is because of uncertainty and or fear of lack of reciprocity.
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Uncertainty or lack of reciprocity
They are too obsessed with the “what ifs” and “what abouts”.
I know it’s natural to feel down or sad when you try reaching out in order to build connection with someone and that attempt was met with contempt. But life doesn’t end there.
Again, that fear is only compounded in the mind. A lot of times, the people you’re hoping to connect with are actually looking forward to connecting with you too.
How do you deal with this?
Don’t overthink it at all.
Don’t Ignore: Scholarship Opportunities for you
Start by telling yourself you’d address your fears.
One day after class, reach out to someone you’ve never talked to before, ask about their welfare and try getting to know them, talk about something that binds both you. Eg, the just concluded class, an assignment or a group work or any other related discussion.
Here is where a lot of people miss it, they don’t have the proper skill to network.
Lack of skill to network.
I see that when some people meet others for the first time, they are always trying hard to be interesting instead of being “interested”
You meet someone and after exchanging pleasantries the next thing you’re doing is talking about yourself, the things you do, your likes, dislikes and preferences. You must have thought you’re the next best thing after chicken and chips. It doesn’t work that way!
Not everyone think that you’re a big deal so save yourself the rhetorics of who you are unless you’re asked.
What to do instead? Be interested in the person you’re talking to.
Ask them general questions that are not sensitive about them, show that you’re interested in them, give sincere compliments, acknowledge something great you noticed about them.
They will be the one to in turn ask about you and your story.
Read Also: University: The Untapped Goldmine of Connections You’re Ignoring – First Series
Remember, don’t try to be interesting, rather work on being interested.
Don’t Ignore: Scholarship Opportunities for you
People like people who take interest in them for sincere reasons, they thinking about people like that more often, they considering them top on their list in life. Develop that skill.
It may appear stressful to do, but try it, relational skillset takes work and intentionality. And in life, no skill is strong enough to make up for bad relationship skills.
Other ways to build your social network as a student include but not limited to the following.
Join a social club on campus, if your nature is tilted more towards spirituality, join fellowships and religious cycles.
There are organizations like JCI, Enactus Rotaract, LEO club, Ploggin, Students for Liberty, Literary and debating society, Jaw war society, Google developers club, Microsoft Students club, Millennium Campus Fellowship etc. At least join or or two of these organizations.
If you’re talent inclined, you may join Theatre troupe, social organizations, etc.
If you’re community-oriented, we have Man O war, Cadet, Red cross etc. Joining these organizations will help you discover some hidden traits and abilities within you which you probably never thought much about.
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And this is one of the most important thing to do. Attend programs, the ones that suit your personality. And after attending a few, join hands with other people to organize such events too. There’s a lot you’d learn about people management, volunteering, fundraising, corporate communications etc. through this process.
Alway offer to help out in fixing something at those events or programs when you can.
Ask thoughtful questions at programs, do follow up when you get contacts by enduring you reach and establish proper connection.
Then don’t fear to be used (I mean it in the positive context) if you found out that you’re being used especially for technical roles or deep problem-solving, that means you’re useful. Stop complaining that you’re being used, if you’re useless nobody will cone to you. Just ensure you build solid boundaries and you’re firm (not rigid) on them.
Read Also: University: The Untapped Goldmine of Connections You’re Ignoring – First Series
Sometimes, it is when you’re being used by others that you will find your true calling. You just may never be able to find out on your own.
Well, it seems like I am just scratching the surface, this is still some appetizers, I haven’t served the main dish yet. So permit me to suspend this content for now and continue again tomorrow, God’s willing.
I hope you’d come around to read it too.
Until then, remember that we’re on the mission to make the rest of our lives the best of our lives.
To your immeasurable success,
Toheeb Bisiriyu.
Read Also: University: The Untapped Goldmine of Connections You’re Ignoring – First Series